Long Body. Short Fuse. Doxie T-Shirt

For doxie people who know the legs are short, but the opinions are not.

$36.95

Size S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL

Some dogs are chill. Yours has strong opinions about that.

The Long Body. Short Fuse. tee is for dachshund people who've accepted that in their house, calm is more of a theory than a lifestyle — and honestly, the zoomies, the sudden barking, and the dramatic reactions to absolutely nothing are all part of the deal.

Built on a Comfort Colors 1717 — soft, heavyweight, garment-dyed for that broken-in feel right out of the package. The kind of shirt that gets better every wash, for the kind of dog that gets louder every year.

100% ring-spun cotton
Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)
Garment-dyed · Relaxed unisex fit

Size guide

	WIDTH (cm)	LENGTH (cm)	SLEEVE CENTER BACK (cm)
S	46.4	67.6	41.3
M	51.4	71.1	45
L	55.9	74.6	48.3
XL	61	78.1	52
2XL	66	80.3	55.3
3XL	70.5	82.6	59
4XL	75.6	85	62.6

To help your DCC tee and print stay looking their best, treat it with a little care — basically the opposite of how your dachshund treats your blankets.

For best results:

Machine wash cold, inside-out
Use a gentle cycle with similar colors
Use mild detergent
Avoid fabric softeners
Use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary
Hang dry when possible, or tumble dry on low

Avoid:

Dry cleaning
High heat
Ironing directly over the print
Washing the shirt right-side out if you want the print to last longer

If you need to iron it, turn the shirt inside-out and use a cool iron. Never iron directly on the printed design.

A little care helps prevent fading, cracking, and unnecessary drama — and around here, we already have enough drama at floor level.

Every DCC tee is made especially for you after you place your order. We work with a trusted production and fulfillment partner, so your shirt is printed on demand first, then packed and shipped once it's ready.

Shipping

Your estimated delivery time includes two parts:

Production time — the time needed to print and prepare your tee
Shipping time — the time it takes for the carrier to deliver it

Most orders are produced within 2–5 business days. After that, shipping time depends on your location, the shipping method available at checkout, and carrier conditions.

Once your order ships, you'll receive a tracking email so you can follow it obsessively, check it casually, or pretend you're not waiting by the mailbox. All valid approaches.

Please double-check your shipping address before placing your order. Once production has started, changes may not always be possible.

Returns & Problems

Because every DCC item is made to order, we don't accept returns or exchanges for buyer's remorse, wrong size choice, wrong color choice, or accidental orders.

But if something arrives damaged, misprinted, defective, or you receive the wrong item, please contact us within 30 days of delivery. Send your order number and clear photos of the issue, and we'll help review it with our fulfillment partner.

If the issue is confirmed, we'll help arrange the appropriate solution — usually a replacement or refund, depending on the case.

For lost packages, please contact us within 30 days of the estimated delivery date so we can look into it.

Email us at hello@doxiechaosclub.com. There's a real human on the other end — one who knows that dachshund people appreciate things being handled without unnecessary drama.

More Doxie Chaos

A Tee You'll Actually Reach for First

You know that one shirt in your drawer — the one that's soft, broken in, and somehow always ends up on top? That's this one, except it's new.

Printed on a Comfort Colors heavyweight tee with that worn-in, garment-dyed feel, it's the kind of shirt that gets better every time you wash it.

Unisex fit, no fuss — grab it for a dog walk, a grocery run, or a full Sunday on the couch while your dachshund pretends the blanket was always theirs.

Doxie Humor That Hits a Little Too Close to Home

This isn't a "I have a dog" shirt. It's an "my dog has opinions about everything and somehow won" shirt.

Doxie Chaos Club designs are built around the stuff dachshund people actually live with — the selective hearing, the blanket hijacking, the 3am zoomies down the hallway, the tiny legs moving with terrifying purpose.

If you've ever been fully outsmarted by a dog the size of a pool noodle, you'll get it immediately.

Made When You Order, Built to Last

Every tee is printed to order — no warehouse full of dusty stock, just your shirt, made fresh. Your usual size gives you a relaxed everyday fit; size up for an oversized look.

Wash inside out in cold water, skip the iron on the design, and it'll stay looking sharp. You'll get tracking info as soon as it ships.

A Few Things to Know

Every Doxie Chaos Club tee is printed on a premium Comfort Colors heavyweight shirt with a relaxed, garment-dyed feel. It's soft, sturdy, and made for everyday wear.

Yes. Each tee is printed after you place your order — so everything stays intentional, and nobody's sitting on a warehouse full of shirts nobody asked for.

This tee has a relaxed unisex fit. For a standard everyday fit, choose your usual size. For a more oversized look, size up.

Our shirts are printed and fulfilled through Printful, our production partner. The blank garment may be sourced from different locations depending on availability, then printed and shipped directly to you.

Shipping is calculated at checkout based on your order and delivery address. You'll see the exact shipping cost before completing your purchase.

Wash inside out with similar colors. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Never iron directly on the design.

If your item arrives damaged, misprinted, or with a production issue, contact us with your order number and a clear photo of the problem so we can help.